4+5 & 9

4+5=9                                                      (0,9)

(4+5)+(0+9)=18                                      (1,8)

(4+5)+(0+9)+(1+8)=27                           (2,7)

(4+5)+(0+9)+(1+8)+(2+7)=36                (3,6)

(4+5)+(0+9)+(1+8)+(2+7)+(3+6)=45     (4,5)



(4+5)=54                                                  (5,4)


(4+5)+(5+4)=63                                      (6,3)


(4+5)+(5+4)+(6+3)=72                            (7,2)


(4+5)+(5+4)+(6+3)+(7+2)=81                (8,1)



(7+2)+(8+1)=90                                       (9,0)




(7+2)+(8+1)+(9+0)=99                          (9,0)



(9+0)+(9+0)=108.                                 (1,0,8)



(9+0)+( 9+0)+(1+0+8)=117.                (1,1,7)





(1+0+8)+(1+1+7)=126                         (1,2,6)





(1+0+8)+(1+1+7)+(1+2+6)=135         (1,3,5)




(1+2+6)+(1+3+5)=144.                        (1,4,4)




(1+2+6)+(1+3+5)+(1+4+4)=153.        (1,5,3)






(1+5+3)=162                                         (1,6,2)




(1+2+6)+(1+3+5)+(1+4+4)+(1+5+3)+(1+6+2)=171.                                        (1,7,1)




(1+2+6)+(1+3+5)+(1+4+4)+(1+5+3)+(1+6+2)+(1+7+1)=180.                       (1,8,0)






(1+6+2)+(1+7+1)+(1+8+0)=189        (1,8,0)






(1+8+0)=198.                                        (1,0,8)






(1+8+0)+(1+8+0)+(1+0+8)=207         (2,0,7)








(2+0+7)=216.                                        (2,1,6)








Schizophrenic or Awakened to the Spirit

Civil science, commonly called western science, is a young discipline that seeks to disregard anything that is not tangible and which cannot be measured. The spread of civil society via colonialism after 1492 to every part of the globe took a while to establish its scientific roots. As it grew traditional understandings were put aside, especially by the people of the 20th century, who seeing western education as the means to material wealth sought to progress by western based schools making civil science a global consciousness. The replaced cultures had always accepted the existence of a multi dimensional world in which spirits, angels and other life forms have always communed with humans. The druids, obeah men and women, voodoo priests, yogis and spiritualists from all the continents have always been accepted amongst us and were not viewed as mentally challenged. Even the present existing religions attest to interactions between angels, gods and humans. In the Bible God talked to Moses from a burning bush, Abraham the father of Israel was told by God to sacrifice Isaac, his son and Noah built an ark and collected animals two by two because a voice, God, told him to. In the Bhagavad Gita of Hinduism there is a whole discourse between man and God. Mystics, witches and shamans have always communed with spirits to gain knowledge, some to create medicine to heal people in their communities. In archaeology the pyramids of Egypt, Panama, Costa Rica and Mexico, to name a few were all constructed with the help of the gods and so advanced were the technology used that science cannot decipher how these edifices were constructed.

In this day and age science and its pharmaceutical drugs impress us not the tinctures of alchemists. Instead of religion being the opium, pharmaceutical drugs are the new opium offered by western medicine, despite the fact that most cure nothing but rather treat symptoms and that these drugs harm the organs of the body. And though medical science is not born of itself since a lot of the plants studied by western medicine have been sourced from the remnant shamans (medicine men and women), it is ironic that science has discredited these very medicine men and women who it looks to for cures. It is also ironic that psychiatry because of its inability to prove the divisible discounts the existence of spirits and angels when yesterday the atom was thought to be an illusion because it too could not be proved.

A matter of concern is that psychiatry tells schizophrenics, which Noah, Moses, Jesus, Abraham, Chine, Zarathustra, Capilya, Arjuna and every other oracle forgotten with time were, that to hear and see things that cannot be proven is a delusion. This propaganda is dangerous to humans. Not only do psychiatrists admit that they do not understand schizophrenia but that they cannot cure it. Yet, for something that psychiatry does not understand psychiatrists seek to treat with pharmaceutical drugs that admittedly destroy the brain. It is unethical. Not only do they push these harmful drugs, they deny free will and have taken away people’s right to refuse drugs and to not be imprisoned in mental institutions, by claiming a legal right over the individual. This negative psychology is because of the influence of B. F. Skinner. Skinner did not believe in free will, rather he believed in conditioning the human mind. He therefore sought to reward positive behavior and punish negative behavior and upon these tenets institutional psychology is practiced. When a schizophrenic is placed in a mental institution they are subjected to conditioning by drugs and other treatment methods. It is true that the individual will be tempted to give up their free will and act as if they do not see and hear their reality to escape the hell of such a prison but is such abuse right? And after they leave such hellholes they go back to their spiritual journeys.

The reason why psychiatric drugs do not work on schizophrenics is because the realm these drugs intend to push into non-existence cannot be extinguished. They have been with humans since the beginning of time. No one can make the spirit whispering in the individual’s ear go away with a pill. Just like everything in life that individual will have to learn to control his or her reaction to the stimuli. The voices do not control the individual’s actions. All actions are a result of free will. Conditioning of the individual is just accepted abuse.

One of the main problems with psychology is that psychology sees abnormal behavior as a disease. It denies the individual a right to live opposite to what is considered the norm. If someone who has spent the majority of his or her life wearing suits and working nine to five in a corporation suddenly decides to quit his or her job and sit under a tree like a yogi to gain spiritual growth, what right does a psychiatrist or psychologist have to label that person as mad? Obviously they lacked something in their life, which they have now found. It is these spiritual people whom society looks to for its highest morality. To course one’s own path when everything around is in opposition shows great character. It was Sigmund Freud, Adler and Carl Jung who pushed the Disease Model of psychology. However, schizophrenia is not a disease. To see and hear the realms indiscernible to many humans has always been normal, just not something capable by most. What these three stalwarts of psychology along with Skinner achieved was the victimization of individuals who often times find themselves negatively labeled, ridiculed and ostracized. What makes Carl Jung’s findings and motives so questionable is the fact that he delved into alchemy but kept it secret to his death. Yes! Carl Jung was an alchemist. Read his ‘Red Book’ and his ‘Seven Sermons To The Dead’, which were published by his family after his death. His knowledge came from the beyond.

Like anything strange and unfamiliar, seeing and hearing other dimensions is scary until the individual learns to master his or her reaction to the unknown. Non-western cultures have always sought to embrace schizophrenics. Many became oracles and medicine men and women. To date Shamans learn to communicate with spirits and to use spiritual knowledge to cure diseases and likewise the creatively inclined use their experiences with these other realms to write films, novels and music that is enjoyed by the seven billion of us on the planet. Take a concept like chi. It is real. Asians have practiced it for centuries. That a power lies in humans that make us super human, seems laughable but spiritual masters have harnessed it. Rather than schizophrenics being told to see their gifts as some fault of the mind, it is best that the positive approach to psychology professed by Martin Seligman, Abraham Maslow, William James and Mihaly Czikszentmihalyi be taken and that the individual be equipped with tools to control their reactions to their new and sometimes frightening experiences.

Humans have always known that a few of us have been born with capabilities that a majority lacks. Some we call geniuses. Some we call psychics. Some we have no titles for. Now we call them mad. It is our uniqueness that spark changes in our civilizations and that has allowed humanity to thrive. Concepts like liberty, equality, non-resistance to violence did not come from the norm. When we seek to destroy the potentials of those we do not understand societies self-destruct. It is hypocritical to act as if there are not people amongst us who are telepathic, clairvoyant, psychokinetic and who do interact with consciousness outside the human body. Parapsychology seeks to study this phenomenon.

In Christiaan Huygens’s ‘Treatise On Light’ he proposed that light does not travel, if it did we would only be able to witness an eclipse hours after it happens. This means light does not come from the sun, a concept that is incredible. Not only that, Huygen’s theory was that light operated as a wave and that it appeared in a straight line. His theory was contrary to Sir Isaac Newton’s corpuscular theory of light, which says that light travels through apertures. Like Huygen, Nikola Tesla purported light was transmitted in electromagnetic waves like sound by ether. Unlike Tesla, Einstein discredited ether and thought light was matter. The rift is caused by ether. Science seeks to deny the ethereal but the reality is the unsung heroes like Tesla, who have contributed more than abstract theories have acknowledged the real God particle –non-matter, which is immeasurable and intangible. Huygen was clearly not the norm. His theory of light is now partly supported, for light has been accepted to behave like a wave, just like sound. There are schizophrenics who observe the phenomenon of light daily in the sky. Everywhere in the sky there are electromagnetic pulses of light that move in waves across the sky but only a few people can see this phenomenon. Schizophrenics should not be labeled, harassed and have their brains destroyed by science. Schizophrenics are not lab rats. They are spiritual.


10 = 9 + 1;                                 10 = 9 x 1 + 1

11 = 9 + 2;                                 11 = 9 x 1 + 2

12 = 9 + 3;                                 21 = 9 x 2 + 3

13 = 9 + 4;                                 31 = 9 x 3 + 4

14 = 9 + 5;                                 41 = 9 x 4 + 5

15 = 9 + 6;                                 51 = 9 x 5 + 6

16 = 9 + 7;                                 61 = 9 x 6 + 7

17 = 9 + 8;                                 71 = 9 x 7 + 8

18 = 9 + 9;                                 81 = 9 x 8 + 9

19 = 9 + 10 or 9 + 9 + 1;          91 = 9 x 9 + 10

or 9 x 9 + (9+1)


Overcoming the Obstacles of Entrepreneurship

Bored with your routine job and thinking of starting your own business, or are you in desperate need of money? By now you must have heard that 90% of all small businesses fail: poor planning, competitiveness, insufficient advertisement and lack of capital being some of the factors.

Do you think you have what it takes to be an entrepreneur? Experts like Peter Drucker, the educator, author and management consultant who invented the term management by objectives and self-control says that entrepreneurs ‘create something new, something different; they change or transmute values.’[i] If this is you and you are here to make an impression on the world, you will have to have a novel or fresh concept and you will have to overcome your doubters by being your own boss.

Being stereotyped is one of the main obstacles an entrepreneur will have to overcome. If you start from scratch -zero dollar-, people will judge. When people talk, they speak their fears for your new idea. To them because you are coming with something new, you are bound to fail.

The average person does not want to work with a non-established entity, unless the business is first class and the average person has little tolerance for the growing pains of a usually single staffed company. People prefer top service at an affordable price. If you can make your company seem as if you are at the top of your industry but come at a reasonable price, you have done the trick.


The personality traits at the entrepreneur’s disposal impact greatly on her or his success. Nader Seyed Amiri and Mohammad Reza Marimaei from the University of Tehran say entrepreneurs demonstrate ‘confidence, perseverance, determination, energy, diligence, resourcefulness, the ability to take calculated risks, dynamism, leadership mistakes, optimism, the need to achieve, versatility, knowledge of the product and creativity’.[ii]

Look at your list of people skills and on a case-by-case basis, determine which quality to use when dealing with difficult people and challenges in the business.

Be frank and ask yourself, ‘what kind of lifestyle do I want? How do I want to operate? How much time am I prepared to devote to building my business? How big do I want my business to grow? What kind of business culture do I want to have? How will the business change my life?’[iii]

IMG_20160229_140513Money is the main culprit thwarting startups. People do not have enough money to pay for the goods or services when you wished to charge them to maximize profit.

Sometimes it is impossible to predict the number of customers and difficult to price products and services. There are times when most entrepreneurs will be unable to pay staff or self. If you dip into your business’ pocket, you have robbed it of its chance to succeed. Whatever little is earned from the business is to keep it afloat. The most important use of money is to purchase stock and pay staff. Self is the last to be paid from any new business.

If you are starting with zero dollars or a year security, have faith. Seek and learn what funding is available for small business operators. Most of funding is for already established small businesses. Remember, every dollar that can be accessed will come in handy.


So you are the pig-headed one, who is determined to prove you can succeed at everything you try, then by now, you know that knowledge is the key. Jumping into an area of business that you know nothing about can be very costly. Every entrepreneur must have knowledge about their industry of choice. It is often best to start a business in which you have experience. This is where your skills can best be used. But if you have no experience, please, educate yourself about the business you are venturing into before investing all your resources and time into it.

Be the humble servant. Everybody you meet and everyone you know is a potential customer. Remember that business people are here to serve the needs of the community. As the servants of our customers, we know that a well-pleased customer is money in our pockets. We keep our clients satisfied.

Listen to the Voice within. Have the guts to follow your dreams and follow your own path. The 10% successful entrepreneurs did it their own way because they listened to that Voice within.

[i] Van Sickle, Heather. Defining Entrepreneurship: Starting A Dialogue on the Meaning of the “E” in NACCE. National Association For Community Colleges. 2010.

[ii] Amiri, Nader Seyed & Marimaei, Mohammad Reza. Concept of Entrepreneurship and Entrepreneurs Traits and Characteristics. Public Management, University of Tehran, Faculty of Management MA in Agricultural Economics Accepted 23 November, 2012.

[iii] Taylor, Andre. Are You Helping Entrepreneurs Plan for the Future? Defining Entrepreneurship: Starting A Dialogue on the Meaning of the “E” in NACCE. National Association For Community Colleges. 2010.

11 Tips On How To Improve Your Memory

Are you having a problem recalling information in quizzes and exams? If the teacher just spoke the answers, will you forget parts b) and c) while putting ink to paper? You are not alone. Memory loss spans all groups of society, not just those in school. As we age, many adults forget personal experiences and the faces and names of people known because we do not regenerate our brain cells, as we did when we are young and active. The key is activity. It is true that the aging process and genetics do affect memory but the brain was created as a powerful organ that renews its cells for the duration of our lifetime. With lifestyle changes there is no reason most people cannot improve short-term and long-term brain functions at any age.

The brain’s memory center is where we store our knowledge and experiences. It is called the hippocampus. This is a Latin word for seahorse because the hippocampus is supposed to resemble a seahorse and not a hippopotamus. The hippocampus is part of the limbic system located in the brain’s medial temporal lobe, near the center and gives us our ability to recall facts and events. The hippocampus does not control short-term memory, which we use in our day-to-day activities. The cortex and the cerebellum, both of which are structures in the limbic system, regulate short-term memory and procedural memory.

So how do we ensure that our entire limbic system, especially our hippocampus is at optimal peak to remember stuff? Here are some useful tips:

Forming New Habits

There are three processes to remembering things –attention, storage and retrieval. In order to remember someone or something, they or it must have made an impression on our minds, otherwise the bus passes by but we see no one on it, even though people were sitting in it. Once you paid attention to the thing, the brain then stores it and when it is needed, the brain recalls it.

Dr. D. A. Williams and Dr. M. Carey of the University of Michigan suggests that those of us who are forgetting to do things, such as to lock the door or turn off the light when we leave a room, pay attention. We must tell ourselves out loud not to forget to turn off the light and close the door. If we still forget, keep trying until the old habit is broken and a new habit is created. Or we must repeat people’s names to ourselves when we meet them or to them –like hello John, good-bye John, so the next time we see them we remember their names.

Dr. D. A. Williams and Dr. M. Carey also suggest developing our senses –what we see, hear, smell, taste and touch. By paying attention to what is going on around us, we live less in our distracting thoughts and stay present in what is going on in the now.

Getting Organized

Rearranging our homes and throwing away things that should not be there, placing things in the right places and repetitively doing new stuff to wake our sleeping brains helps with memory recall. The more new activities added to our lives, the more our brain grows to facilitate us learning. It is a genius creation.

Activities for the Brain

Engage in brain activities that stimulate the brain. There are tons of brain games online that are geared towards improving memory and cognitive skills. There are also techniques like mnemonics that are taught from the pre-school level to the tertiary level to improve memory. Mnemonics is the use of letters and symbols to represent nouns and objects –like ‘my very educated mother just showed us nine planets (MVEMJSUNP –Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto.

Socialize and Pick Up Hobbies

Socializing can be tough because many of us do not know how to get along with different personalities but by taking up new interests and hobbies, we automatically meet new people and stimulate our brains both ways –for everything about new people and new tasks is challenging. Doing the same routine lulls the brain to sleep. To build new brain cells the brain must be challenged. Learning to paint, sew, kick-box, play the piano or write stories engages the brain. Every discarded skill you wished you had but failed to even try, pick it up. Picking up hobbies and interest come highly recommended as activities to challenge and strengthen the brain.

Better Nutrition


Omega 3 improves memory and brain health. It is found in fish oil but for those vegans who are not interested in supplements, Omega-3 is also found in walnuts, flaxseed, pumpkin seeds, kidney beans, pinto beans, soybeans, spinach, broccoli and in high doses in coconut oil. Reduce the consumption of Omega 6 (processed vegetable oils) and balance the ratio between Omega 3 and Omega 6 with uncooked coconut oil.

What we eat or do not eat nourishes or malnourishes the brain. Sugars and simple carbs do not energize the brain, in fact they malnourish the brain. Biscuits, buns, bullas and white bread are simple carbs and sodas, drinks and most juices not purchased in a supermarket are made of simple sugars that drain the body of energy. Juices made from raw fruits are best for the brain.

The brain is fuelled by ketones, which the body derives from fatty acids when deprived of carbohydrates for an extended period of time. Coconut oil and other sources of healthy fatty acids nourish the body to generate ketones. Eating between ten o’clock in the morning and six in the evening facilitates the 16 hours of fasting the body requires to begin metabolizing its brain fuel or going on a ketogenic diet can do the trick. Ketogenic diets are high in fat, adequate in protein and low in carbohydrates and are best designed by a doctor because it affects blood sugar levels, the heart and the kidneys.


Two tablespoons of coconut oil (about 35 ml or 7 level teaspoons) supplies 20 grams of medium-chain triglycerides (MCT) will help to prevent and treat some degenerative neurological diseases.


Getting sufficient sunlight also increases nerve growth in the brain. Sunlight provides the body with vitamin D, which affects the brain’s ability to plan, to process information and to form new memory cells. Vitamin D receptors are located in the in the hippocampus and cerebellum.

Healthy Gut

The gut is also very important to brain function, our psychological state and our behavior. Bacteria are transmitted from the gut to the brain via the vagus nerve. Abnormal gut flora correlates with abnormal brain development. The gut is also where neurotransmitters like serotonin -which affects mood- are produced. Avoiding sugars, simple carbs and eating healthy bacteria found in brewer’s yeast and yogurt are three of the best ways to support a healthy gut.


Aerobic exercise such as anything adrenaline based, like running, skipping, hiking or brisk walking is good for improving memory. Aerobic exercises, cardiovascular training, simple weight training and movement therapy are recommended to improve the memory. The body is able to burn excess carbohydrates and sugar, which makes it turn to its fat stored, synthesizing Ketone –brain fuel.


Sleep deprivation affects problem solving, as well as creative and critical thinking skills. Napping during the day is known to improve memory recall and restore brainpower. Sleeping or napping after study sessions causes better recognition in patterns of new information. Get restful sleep at nights. Sleep enhances your memory. Sleeping four to six hours improves the clarity of your thinking.

No multitasking

Avoid TVs, laptops, tablets and phones at least an hour before bed. The blue light emitted by the screens of these devices trigger alertness and suppress hormones such as melatonin that make the body sleepy. Avoid energy boosting beverages and black tea; they keep the body awake.


Meditation improves depression, anxiety, chronic pain, high blood pressure, focus, concentration, creativity, memory and learning.

Movement Is The Answer To Pain

“Is anybody in the kitchen?” called a voice from the living room.

Lisa got up and walked to the living room, reached out her hand and took the tray with the empty breakfast plate from her blind eighty-three year old father.

Every day that passed he was losing his mobility and reluctant to feel his way from room to room. She glanced at his feet that had been gradually swelling for the past few months because of his inactivity and knew any mention of taking him to the doctor would be met with resistance. What was she to do?

Lisa’s situation is not an uncommon one. Watching an aging parent lose physical mobility is not easy, especially since they are losing their independence. Physiotherapy can help them, or anyone -even small infants who have lost or are experiencing diminished movement in any area of the body.

Physiotherapy is movement therapy. According to the Chartered Society of Physiotherapy, ‘physiotherapy helps restore movement and function when someone is affected by injury, illness or disability.’ It is not just for persons who have been in accidents –as is the commonly held view.

Often we live very sedentary lives –only moving from the couch to the fridge, or from our desk to our cars and into our beds. We do not move our bodies as often as we need to and our muscles, tissues and bones lose their functions or become stiff and pain ridden from being in one position too long. Whenever the muscles begin to get weary from being immobile, the body will start sending out discomfort and pain signals that it is being strained. To combat the strain on the muscle walk around the room and do some stretches to get the body moving, if this will not cause further injury to the body.

With a physiotherapist, the movement and functions of the body can be restored in a safe environment with someone who is professionally trained to re-educate the body. As simple as it sounds someone limping or hobbling across a room can be due to their lifestyle, and simply retraining the body in movement is all that is needed to be rid of the limp.

“I took dad to a physiotherapist but he is reluctant to move around the room and he won’t try the exercises,” Lisa says.

What Lisa needs is a specialist physiotherapist, who engages in ergonomics. Ergonomics is a discipline of physiotherapy which recognizes that the physical surrounding of the individual impacts on the individual’s physical wellbeing. In the case of Lisa’s dad and many more like him, simply moving the furniture to least obstruct or to aid him can be beneficial to him becoming mobile. Understanding the layout of the room can allow persons who are visually impaired to use the furniture to map the room and the removal of objects that would cause him to trip or fall from off the floor will make him feel safe to venture from his usual spot. It is all about the objects being an aid rather than an impediment to his mobility.

“But what about pain? Isn’t physiotherapy painful?”

In its February 2012 Position Paper, the Australian Physiotherapy Association (APA) says ‘injury or surgery or an active disease process within the tissues’ may cause pain and the number one remedy for pain which affects 1 in every 5 Australians is physiotherapy but there are not enough physiotherapist. The APA states the role of a physiotherapist is to ‘assist people to live with chronic pain and to work across the lifespan continuum assisting patients with their pain in primary care settings with the aim of diminishing pain, improving quality of life where possible and preventing acute and sub-acute painful conditions developing into chronic pain.’

The young and healthy can benefit from physiotherapy too. Physiotherapy is necessary for all age groups because injury of the musculoskeletal system occurs at all ages. People tend to strain their muscles lifting heavy objects because they do not understand body dynamics. The muscles contract and relax around the joints from which we pivot to push and pull all objects. With physiotherapist individuals can be reeducated on the proper techniques of lifting a pan of water or a dumbbell that there will be no reoccurrence of the injury. Movement education is for everyone.

Keeping Your Teen Motivated In School

“What is this?” Vicki asks Stacy, as she glances at the report card and back at her daughter.

Stacy did nothing in school. She had failed to attend most of her classes and her grades were E and D in all her courses. The teachers all wrote ‘Stacy could do better if she made an effort.’ What was Vicki to do? She had tried everything to get Stacy more motivated about school and everything had failed.

Vicki is in a similar position as a lot of parents. Teenagers are on the threshold of adulthood. Oftentimes they are already burdened by adult problems that they take onto themselves or which is thrust upon them and at that stage of their development keeping focused on school activities while tackling life issues is very difficult. Teens need to see the value of education to factor it into their future plans but this age group generally lives in the now and plans for their future often become relevant to them after they leave school.

According to Kaylene Williams from California State University and Caroline Williams from the University of Wisconsin, ‘the five key ingredients impacting student motivation are: student, teacher, content, method/process, and environment.’[i] They state that ‘the student must have access, ability, interest, and value education. The teacher must be well trained, must focus and monitor the educational process, be dedicated and responsive to his or her students, and be inspirational. The content must be accurate, timely, stimulating, and pertinent to the student’s current and future needs. The method or process must be inventive, encouraging, interesting, beneficial, and provide tools that can be applied to the student’s real life. The environment needs to be accessible, safe, positive, personalized as much as possible, and empowering.’[ii] All this is true. But outside the school environment there are also home factors that affect student learning and motivation to stay in school.

Teenagers are big children, who have a greater interest in socializing with peers. They are always in a hurry to grow up and gain autonomy over their own lives but lack understanding what autonomy requires; so the nagging parent and jailing school to them are their impediments to freedom. They are inexperienced with the responsibility of adulthood and idealize freedoms without understanding that sometimes an adult sacrifices freedoms for his or her pursuits.

Teenagers need to be comfortable at home in order for their minds to be relaxed enough to absorb knowledge. Their interests must be encouraged and not discarded for the pursuit of the interests of the parents. If the teen wants to be an artists, a musician, a dancer or a writer but the parent wants their young lady and young man to become a doctor, a teacher, an engineer or an investment banker, a conflict occurs between the guardian and the child. It is best to encourage the teenager in their own interest while encouraging them to pursue other interest like the sciences, the arts or gaining a technical skill like auto mechanics or aerodynamics; so that they understand they can pursue several interests.

What generally happens is that the teen that is seeking autonomy clashes with the parent who wants to maintain control over their blossoming young adult., especially when the young adult is more interested in sex and partying rather than cleaning their room and studying. From the minute a young adult begins to feel trapped at home they will seek avenues of escape. Escape usually comes in rebellion where they seek to be the very opposite of their guardian having now seen the guardian as the enemy.

Happiness is key to all success. Adults have a hard time becoming less protective of their teens and becoming more supportive as a guide. They cannot stop themselves from trying to prevent their children from having negative experiences, as one of the roles of parents is to protect the child. No one can be sheltered from experience but people can be guided through the difficulties they are bound to face making their own mistakes. Offering guidance is the role of the parent.

Teenagers who are actively involved in their school ‘s sport, music, art or skill programs tend to have a drive to want to stay and succeed in school. ‘Students discover their own rewards by mastering new challenges and making unique contributions in a significant and meaningful context.’[iii]

“Your teachers said to let you become more involved in clubs at school and I did. For what purpose? Where are you coming from? You are not going to one more club meeting!” Vicki shouts.

This is the second weekend Stacy has come home late in the night. She allowed Stacy to join clubs and school and she suspected that Stacy was spending time doing everything else but club activities.

Like Vicki, it is easy to get despondent when your child is wayward but remember that students come to school to learn, as well as to socialize and build relationships with their peers. If their boyfriend or girlfriend is threatening to breakup with them, they will skip school and head across town to mend their relationships –they are mini us. Making them out to be worthless and unambitious is negative behavior fuelled by our own fears. When they become actively involved in school, they do not become derailed when those relationships unravel because they are better able to handle disappointments having other good experiences happening for them.

Exposing teenagers to the various income earning acts that school prepares them for can encourage their drive for a profession. Taking them to the hospital to see nurses and doctors at work, or a carpenter’s shop to see a chair assembled can have a lasting impression on teenagers. When they are little children we dress them up in professional costumes to stimulate their desire for a profession. A physical effort to regenerate their interest at the teenage stage is also needed. Become positively interested in who your child is and help steer them to success. Arranging visitations to university and college fairs can also make the stress of higher education just another stage in the adventure of education. Do not become despondent when he or she showed no interest and was only looking at the smart phone or tablet.

Treat teenagers as little people. It is impossible to force their wills. Trying to do so is like two bulls colliding. The parent at this stage of the young adult’s development still needs to maintain a friendship with the child. As thinking beings, teens must be spurred to challenge themselves because they are the only ones who can stop their own regression or propel themselves forward. They are ripening fruits. Parents must therefore remember they are teaching their teens to master life, not to sheepishly follow into the footsteps they wish them to take. Love and respect your teenagers, get involved in their lives and teach them that there is more to life than socializing and following what they see on TV; so set a good example.

In 2005, the Parent Institute published a parent guide called ‘Seven Proven Ways To Motivate Children To Do Better In School’. They were to set proper expectations, help your child set goals, show your child that you think school is important, support your child’s learning style, speaking encouragingly to your child, reinforcing learning at home and in the community and encouraging your child to be resilient. All of which are necessary for a non-performing student to become motivated to succeed and stay in school.

The principal thing is to be supportive of your child. This means offering your child encouragement and applaud their efforts of improvement, no matter how small the growth is. To reinforce the educational values you need to establish them by spending time with your children to understand their needs them and to ensure that they get all they need to succeed. Nothing is easy with a problematic teenager but reinforcing values and encouragement go a long way.

[i] Williams, Kaylene C & Williams, Caroline C. Five key ingredients for improving student motivation. California State University, Stanislaus & University of Wisconsin, Madison. http://www.aabri.com/manuscripts/11834.pdf

[ii] Williams, Kaylene C & Williams, Caroline C. Five key ingredients for improving student motivation. California State University, Stanislaus & University of Wisconsin, Madison. http://www.aabri.com/manuscripts/11834.pdf

[iii] Williams, Kaylene C & Williams, Caroline C. Five key ingredients for improving student motivation. California State University, Stanislaus & University of Wisconsin, Madison. http://www.aabri.com/manuscripts/11834.pdf